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The End

Is it getting better
Or do you feel the same
Will it make it easier on you now
You got someone to blame
You say...

One love
One life
When it's one need
In the night
One love
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for it

Did I disappoint you
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Well it's...

Too late
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
Have you come here for forgiveness
Have you come to raise the dead
Have you come here to play Jesus
To the lepers in your head

Did I ask too much
More than a lot
You gave me nothing
Now it's all I got
We're one
But we're not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again
You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt
One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other


A new beginning...



Got Goldens?

I hate you.

I hate you for stealing the past four years out of my life. I hate you for yelling at me all the time. I hate your pornography addiction that was always there - always. I hate your lies. I hate your negative attitude. I hate your hairy body. I hate your horrible breath. I hate your music. I hate the clothes you wear. I hate that you are so selfish. I hate your omissions. I hate that you do drugs. I hate how you defend everyone and everything except me. I hate the fact that the sports center is the only thing the is ever on the television. I hate the fact that you have to sleep with the television on. I hate that you never wanted to have sex with me. I hate you for throwing things at me. I hate the fact that you never say I'm sorry. I hate that you can't admit when you're wrong. I hate that you won't help yourself. I hate the fact that you take your shit out on me. I hate your limp dick. I hate the fact that you still can't see that it is because you always LIED that I never trusted you. I hate that nasty soap you use. I hate that you embarrassed me at my company Christmas party. I hate that you went to Mexico on vacation without me and lied to me the entire week. I hate your mother. I hate that there wasn't ONE TIME in the last four years have we ever gone to a movie that I wanted to see. I hate that you think you know everything. I hate that you could so easily do what you did to me. I hate that you never called me. I hate every mean and hurtful response to IM's you ever sent me. I hate the fact that you sit like a bitch to pee. I hate that every year you went somewhere as I sat at home. I hate your friend Kevin just because of what he represents. I hate the fact that you're gay - except you can't/won't admit it and are willing to ruin people's lives to avoid the simple truth. I hate the fact that you lose everything and expect me to keep track of your shit. I hate how explosive you are. I hate the fact that I could never say anything contrary to you in the car or you'd blow up and drive like a crazy person to scare and silence me. I hate your nose hair that always sticks out. I hate your ear hairs too. I hate that it's always been about you. I hate your anger. I hate that just asking you how your day was always started a fight. I hate that I wanted to be close to you and you hated that about me. I hate you, I hate you - do you hear me??? I hate you. And I hate that I'm sitting here missing you and needing you and you don't care, you have never cared. I hate that too.
Created this image titled "Two-faced Tim" way back in June of '06...
Had I listened to myself 3 years ago, I could have saved myself alot of wasted time.



The last four years have been complete crap and any lingering feelings that remain for you closely resemble disgust, pity, anger and hate. How COULD you do the things you've done to me over the past 4 years? Have you no conscience? No heart? No soul? You've been this huge black hole sucking the life out of me for far too long. This last thing you did - well that was the final act that broke any remaining connection between you and I. You want to remain friends you say? Laughable really, because I treat complete strangers better than you treat me. What possible reason would I have for wanting to keep you around? So you can lie to me some more? So you can yell at me some more? So you can berate me, silence me, monopolize me, my time and my head?

It's always been about you... Your problems, your stress, your job, your day, your wants, your needs. Never me. Never. And I've been there for you - always. Well I'm done now. I'm extracting myself from the universe that is YOU. I am no longer your satellite, orbiting your world quietly in that vacuum of cold darkness. I've spent the last four years there, in that hellish exile. Lonely, without any true human connection. I've spent that time preparing for this. I'm used to being alone. I like it. I imagine this split is much harder for you. You've had me there as your garbage disposal, absorbing all your shit. No one's there for you now, is there? You actually have to deal with life all by yourself. To deal with the chaos that is you all by YOURSELF. I bet it sucks for you, because coping skills have never been high on your list of attributes... Come to think of it... not much is, huh? You truly are nothing. Nothing positive anyway. You have no character and that's pathetic.

I'm honestly okay... although I still acutely feel the sting of the final betrayal, I'm happy that it happened. I needed this. Something, anything, to break the final ties. I've been so unhappy and am looking forward to getting on with my life. I don't like you, I don't love you (haven't for quite some time) and I have no use for people like you in my life. I am a believer in karma and you definitely deserve all that you get.

Karma's a bitch...

Bella 1~7~2009

Bella's Birth...

Jan 7, 2009

Whelping 101